Mentoring 101: Somebody's Watching You

Each month I have the privilege of speaking to a fabulous group of women from my church.  This group also includes women from the surrounding area of the community I live in.  I have often asked the ladies this question: If you are an older woman could you please stand up?  Usually the 50-60+ crowd will tentatively stand to their feet with a sheepish grin on their face.  I mean come on....who wants to classify themselves as an older woman?  I know in their minds they must be thinking, "Geez, thanks Lydia!"  Once I know I have royally embarrassed the brave, honest ones who stood to their feet I then ask this question: "Why isn't every woman in this room standing up?"

The point I'm trying to get at is that no matter your age you are an older woman and somebody is watching you!  If the phrase "somebody is watching you" completely freaks you out, let me rephrase my thought - somebody is looking up to you!

I realized this when I was about 15 years old, however I didn't really "get it" till years later.  One Sunday after church an 8 year girl from the congregation ran up to me and said, "Lydia, I love you so much!  I want to be just like you when I grow up!"  I was stunned!  On the other hand I understood her desire to become like someone she admired because I too, had that same desire.  As a 15 year old young woman there were several older women I looked up to and greatly admired.  Some from afar, and some I had the privilege of knowing on a personal level.

I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had strong mentors in my life.  Now I have the great honor of mentoring other women.  I recognize that not everyone has been blessed with mentoring relationships in their life.  But I want to encourage you that it's never too late to give yourself away or begin receiving from another person.

You see, mentoring isn't as hard you think it may be.  There are some lingering questions that surround this topic and often times hinder us from living a lifestyle of mentoring.


1.  WHY ME?  First of all, mentoring is biblical.  (Read Titus 2) I didn't make this up!  My motto is if it's in the bible, we should be doing it.   Secondly, you have something to give!  God has blessed you with spiritual gifts, life experience, insights, Godly and practical wisdom that others need to hear about and experience.

2.  WHAT WILL THIS REQUIRE OF ME? Truth be told, mentoring will require time and a conscious effort invested in building relationships.  There are formal mentorships and informal mentorships.  I have engaged in both formats of mentoring and have received greatly as both a mentor and a mentoree.  Most importantly, mentoring requires a willing and submitted heart!

In my own words, mentoring is about how you live your life.  Almost daily I remind myself of this truth - "Today you will have an opportunity to influence and impact the life of another woman with your actions and words.  What are you going to do about it?"  We're naive if we think that our actions aren't noticed and that our words aren't being listened to.

If you are a Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Grandmother, Aunt, Friend, Teacher, Pastor, Leader, Neighbor or Employer you are a mentor! Why? Because somebody is watching you!

In a former post entitled "What Get's You Noticed" I listed some Godly characteristics I notice in other women.  Take a moment and think through some characteristics in other women that draws your attention.  Then think about your own words and actions.  What stands out?  Are you a reactor who lashes out in frustration or a responder who answers with grace and love even in those frustrating moments?  Trust me ladies, I work really hard at this every single day!   It's a daily choice and I certainly cannot be the example, leader and mentor I am called to be without the power of the Holy Spirit in my life daily; continually!

So my first challenge to you in mentoring is BE WILLING!

I close with one of my favorite passage of scripture from Titus 2...it says it all!

Titus 2:1-8 (The Message)
"Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine.  Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love and endurance.  Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness.  By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives.  We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior.  Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.  But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane.  Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around." 

Growing Together With You,
Lydia